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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
People
Strongest
Relationships
Two
Live
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid - they also ask, Do you forgive me?, because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.
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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
Harriet Lerner
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
Harriet Lerner
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
Harriet Lerner