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The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
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Historian
Journalist
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Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Children
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Average
Cruelly
Helping
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Handicapped
Feelings
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Help
Ideal
Anything
Fact
Ideals
Must
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Consequence

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Pastor: One employed by the wicked to prove to them by his example that virtue doesn't pay.
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Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.
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The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
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I well recall my horror when I heard for the first time, of a journalist who had laid in a pair of what were then called bicycle pants and taken to golf it was as if I had encountered a studhorse with his hair done up in frizzes, and pink bowknots peeking out of them. It seemed, in some vague way, ignominious, and even a bit indelicate.
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Every man is his own hell.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
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I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
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Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
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After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
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All talk of winning the people by appealing to their intelligence, of conquering them by impeccable syllogism, is so much moonshine.
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The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman.
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There is something even more valuable to civilization than wisdom, and that is character.
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The Old Testament, as everyone who has looked into it is aware, drips with blood there is, indeed, no more bloody chronicle in all the literature of the world.
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Law and its instrument, government, are necessary to the peace and safety of all of us, but all of us, unless we live the lives of mud turtles, frequently find them arrayed against us.
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Capitalism under democracy has a further advantage: its enemies, even when it is attacked, are scattered and weak, and it is usually easily able to array one half of them against the other half, and thus dispose of both.
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Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.
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The best years are the forties after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
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Every autobiography ... becomes an absorbing work of fiction, with something of the charm of a cryptogram.
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The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.
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