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When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
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Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
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More quotes by H. L. Mencken
The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
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What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table.
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What fetched me instantly (and thousands of other newcomers with me) was the subtle but unmistakable sense of escape from the United States.
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To the man with an ear for verbal delicacies- the man who searches painfully for the perfect word, and puts the way of saying a thing above the thing said - there is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.
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What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas
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All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
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Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn
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If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
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The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
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What is the professor's function? To pass on to numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and largely untrue.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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For me to go into politics would be like sending a virgin into a house of ill-repute.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
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Whatever the label on the parties, or the war cries issuing from the demagogues who lead them, the practical choice is between the plutocracy on the one side and a rabble of preposterous impossibilists on the other.
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The most common of all follies is to believe in the palpably untrue.
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