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Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Philosophy
Happiness
Firsts
First
Scheme
Trying
Constructs
World
Schemes
Tries
Fit
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
The Catholic clergy seldom bother to make their arguments plausible it is plain that they have little respect for human intelligence, and indeed little belief in its existence.
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The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all.
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I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.
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The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.
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No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
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The aim of New Deals is to exterminate the class of creditors and thrust all men into that of debtors. It is like trying to breedcattle with all cows and no bulls.
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To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite as bad as Upton Sinclair says it is, but 10 times worse
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
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The State doesn't just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
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Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
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This combat between proletariat and plutocracy is, after all, itself a civil war. Two inferiorities struggle for the privilege of polluting the world.
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War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.
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Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.
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The doctrine that the cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy is like saying that the cure of crime is more crime.
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The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.
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Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
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The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.
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Is it hot in the rolling mill? Are the hours long? Is $15 a day not enough? Then escape is easy. Simply throw up your job, spit on your hands, and write another Rosenkavailer.
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Jealousy is a keen observer, but looks for all the wrong signs.
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