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Whenever a reporter is assigned to cover a Methodist conference, he comes home an atheist.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
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Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
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Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
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Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.
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It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.
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How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
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The two main ideas that run through all of my writing, whether it be literary criticism or political polemic are these: I am strong in favor of liberty and I hate fraud.
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Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.
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The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.
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Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
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Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.
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A bad artist almost always tries to conceal his incompetence by whooping up a new formula.
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The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.
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A poet over 30 is pathetic
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Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
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In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue.
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To every complex question there is a simple answer and it is wrong.
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The doctrine that the cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy is like saying that the cure of crime is more crime.
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I believe that any man who takes the liberty of another into his keeping is bound to become a tyrant, and that any man who yields up his liberty, in however slight the measure, is bound to become a slave.
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There are no ugly cigars, only ugly smokers.
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The highfalutin aims of democracy, whether real or imaginary, are always assumed to be identical with its achievements. This, of course, is sheer hallucination. Not one of those aims, not even the aim of giving every adult a vote, has been realized. It has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
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Of learned men, the clergy show the lowest development of professional ethics. Any pastor is free to cadge customers from the divines of rival sects, and to denounce the divines themselves as theological quacks.
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