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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
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Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
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More quotes by H. L. Mencken
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
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The Jews fastened their religion upon the Western world, not because it was more reasonable than the religions of their contemporaries - as a matter of fact, it was vastly less reasonable than many of them - but because it was far more poetical.
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Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas
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The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.
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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks a woman loses hers after four kisses.
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A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.
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The essential dilemma of education is to be found in the fact that the sort of man (or woman) who knows a given subject sufficiently well to teach it is usually unwilling to do so.
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If there was ever a dissenter from the national optimismit was surely Edgar Allan Poe--without question the bravest and mostoriginal, if perhaps also the least orderly and judicious, of all the critics that we have produced.
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
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Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.
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One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.
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For it is an absurdity to call a country civilized in which a decent and industrious man, laboriously mastering a trade which is valuble and necessary to the common weal, has no assurance that it will sustain him while he stands ready to practice it, or keep him out of the poorhouse when illness or age makes him idle.
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The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all.
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Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
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The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.
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It is surely no mere coincidence that the land of the emancipated and enthroned woman is also the land of canned soup, of canned pork and beans, of whole meals in cans, and of everything else ready made.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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