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There are no ugly cigars, only ugly smokers.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Cigar
Ugly
Cigars
Smokers

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The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool.
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The double standard of morality will survive in this world so long as the woman whose husband has been lured away is favoured with the sympathetic tears of other women, and a man whose wife has made off is laughed at by other men.
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Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
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The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on 'I am not too sure'.
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War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.
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There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.
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There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
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It is [a politician's] business to get and hold his job at all costs. If he can hold it by lying, he will hold it by lying if lying peters out, he will try to hold it by embracing new truths. His ear is ever close to the ground.
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The only way that a government can provide for jobs for all citizens is by deciding what every man should do.
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He slept more than any other president, whether by day or by night. Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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When we appropriate money from the public funds to pay for vaccinating a horde of negroes, we do not do it because we have any sympathy for them or because we crave their blessings, but simply because we don't want them to be falling ill of smallpox
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
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In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
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Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
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The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
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American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.
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The effect of every sort of New Deal is to increase and prosper the criminal class. It teaches precisely what all professional criminals believe, to wit, that, it is neither virtuous nor necessary to suffer and to do without.
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No democratic delusion is more fatuous than that which holds that all men are capable of reason, and hence susceptible to conversion by evidence. If religions depended upon evidence for their prolongation, then all of them would collapse.
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Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
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