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I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Converts
Missionaries
Detest
Agnostic
Almost
Much

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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
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Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality.
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I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
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In the United States...politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humors, such inordinate farce that one comes to the end of a campaign with one's ribs loose, and ready for King Lear, or a hanging, or a course of medical journals.
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No healthy man, in his secret heart, is content with his destiny. He is tortured by dreams and images as a child is tortured by the thought of a state of existence in which it would live in a candy store and have two stomachs.
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Let no one mistake it for comedy, farcical though it may be in all its details. It serves notice on the country that Neanderthal man is organizing in these forlorn backwaters of the land, led by a fanatic, rid of sense and devoid of conscience.
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Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
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Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas
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Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again.
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
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There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.
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I can't imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college, even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.
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No man is worthy of unlimited reliance-his treason, at best, only waits for sufficient temptation.
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Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
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The music critic, Huneber, could never quite make up his mind about a new symphony until he had seen the composer's mistress.
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Nature abhors a moron.
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Happiness is the china shop love is the bull.
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