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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Ticket
Agnostic
Tickets
Gates
Outside
Speculator
Heaven
Clergyman
Speculators
Clergymen
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
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I am against slavery simply because I dislike slaves.
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All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.
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Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States--first,murder stories secondly, novels in which the heroine is forcibly overcome by the hero thirdly, volumes on spiritualism, occultism and other such claptrap, and fourthly, books on Lincoln.
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No romantic novel ever written in America, by man or woman, is one half so beautiful as My Ántonia.
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One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.
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If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
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Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
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Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
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There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
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There are some people who read too much: The bibliobibuli.
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No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
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It is the fundamental theory of all the more recent American law...that the average citizen is half-witted, and hence not to be trusted to either his own devices or his own thoughts.
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It is the theory of all modern civilized governments that they protect and foster the liberty of the citizen it is the practice of all of them to limit its exercise, and sometimes very narrowly.
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The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spends his leisure as a dog spends it. His recreations are all puerile, and the time supposed to benefit him really only stupefies him.
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Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
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Nature abhors a moron.
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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.
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Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
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