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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Gates
Outside
Speculator
Heaven
Clergyman
Speculators
Clergymen
Ticket
Agnostic
Tickets
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain.
H. L. Mencken
Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull
H. L. Mencken
The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking.
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God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
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When a woman says she won't, it's a good sign that she will. And when she says she will, it is an even better sign.
H. L. Mencken
He sailed through American history like a steel ship loaded with monoliths of granite.
H. L. Mencken
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
The argument that capital punishment degrades the state is moonshine, for if that were true then it would degrade the state to send men to war... The state, in truth, is degraded in its very nature: a few butcheries cannot do it any further damage.
H. L. Mencken
The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman.
H. L. Mencken
The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.
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Government, like any other organism, refuses to acquiesce in its own extinction. This refusal, of course, involves the resistance to any effort to diminish its powers and prerogatives.
H. L. Mencken
One smart reader is worth a thousand boneheads.
H. L. Mencken
A free citizen in a free state, it seems to me, has an inalienable right to play with whomsoever he will, so long as he does not disturb the general peace. If any other citizen, offended by the spectacle, makes a pother, then that other citizen, and not the man exercising his inalienable right, should be put down by the police.
H. L. Mencken
The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.
H. L. Mencken
When I die, I shall be content to vanish into nothingness.... No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it.
H. L. Mencken
Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.
H. L. Mencken
Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well.
H. L. Mencken
There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
H. L. Mencken
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon woman, that she was born so long ago.
H. L. Mencken
Philadelphia is the most pecksniffian of American cities, and thus probably leads the world.
H. L. Mencken
