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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Outside
Speculator
Heaven
Clergyman
Speculators
Clergymen
Ticket
Agnostic
Tickets
Gates

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Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.
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Science, at bottom, is really anti-intellectual. It always distrusts pure reason, and demands the production of objective fact.
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All talk of winning the people by appealing to their intelligence, of conquering them by impeccable syllogism, is so much moonshine.
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War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.
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The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking.
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The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.
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There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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The late William Jennings Bryan, L.L.D., always had one great advantage in controversy he was never burdened with an understanding of his opponent's case.
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I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
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The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
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The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.
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There are no mute, inglorious Miltons, save in the hallucinations of poets. The one sound test of a Milton is that he functions as a Milton.
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If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
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