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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Heaven
Clergyman
Speculators
Clergymen
Ticket
Agnostic
Tickets
Gates
Outside
Speculator

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Religion is so absurd that it comes close to imbecility.
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History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.
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The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing.
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A dull, dark, depressing day in Winter: the whole world looks like a Methodist church at Wednesday night prayer meeting.
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Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier.
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The mistake that is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly.
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There are two impossibilities in life: just one drink and an honest politician.
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Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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The intelligent, like the unintelligent, are responsive to propaganda.
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Poetry is a comforting piece of fiction set to more or less lascivious music.
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The allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the allurement that Cape Hatteras holds out to sailors they are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating.
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Evil: That which one believes of others. It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake
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Man is always looking for someone to boast to woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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The American people, I am convinced, really detest free speech. At the slightest alarm they are ready and eager to put it down.
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We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite as bad as Upton Sinclair says it is, but 10 times worse
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