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Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Undoubtedly
Sorry
Wife
Would

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The average man gets his living by such depressing devices that boredom becomes a sort of natural state to him.
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
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The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
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Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.
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Law and its instrument, government, are necessary to the peace and safety of all of us, but all of us, unless we live the lives of mud turtles, frequently find them arrayed against us.
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The theatre, when all is said and done, is not life in miniature, but life enormously magnified, life hideously exaggerated.
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What fetched me instantly (and thousands of other newcomers with me) was the subtle but unmistakable sense of escape from the United States.
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The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman.
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A large part of altruism, even when it is perfectly honest, is grounded upon the fact that it is uncomfortable to have unhappy people about one.
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The mistake that is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly.
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My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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Man, without a saving touch of woman in him, is too doltish, too naive and romantic, too easily deluded and lulled to sleep by his imagination to be anything above a cavalryman, a theologian or a corporation director.
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The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.
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God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
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There's no underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
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There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
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The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
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To the extent that I am genuinely educated, I am suspicious of all the things that the average citizen believes and the average pedagogue teaches.
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