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Elections are futures markets in stolen property.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Stolen
Markets
Libertarian
Election
Property
Futures
Elections
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School teachers, taking them by and large, are probably the most ignorant and stupid class of men in the whole group of mental workers.
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My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.
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A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
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I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind.
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Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
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Science, at bottom, is really anti-intellectual. It always distrusts pure reason, and demands the production of objective fact.
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People constantly speak of 'the government' doing this or that, as they might speak of God doing it. But the government is really nothing but a group of men, and usually they are very inferior men. They may have some better man working for them, but they themselves are seldom worthy of any respect.
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I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.
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A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
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[T]he only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
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How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
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There is, it appears, a conspiracy of scientists afoot. Their purpose is to break down religion, propagate immorality, and so reduce mankind to the level of brutes. They are the sworn and sinister agents of Beelzebub, who yearns to conquer the world, and has his eye especially upon Tennessee.]
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If there was ever a dissenter from the national optimismit was surely Edgar Allan Poe--without question the bravest and mostoriginal, if perhaps also the least orderly and judicious, of all the critics that we have produced.
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There are two impossibilities in life: just one drink and an honest politician.
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No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow to see him commit suicide for her.
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