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Elections are futures markets in stolen property.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Election
Property
Futures
Elections
Stolen
Markets
Libertarian
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.
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The scientist who yields anything to theology, however slight, is yielding to ignorance and false pretenses, and as certainly as if he granted that a horse-hair put into a bottle of water will turn into a snake.
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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At the end of one millennium and nine centuries of Christianity, it remains an unshakable assumption of the law in all Christian countries and of the moral judgement of Christians everywhere that if a man and a woman, entering a room together, close the door behind them, the man will come out sadder and the woman wiser.
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
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Capitalism under democracy has a further advantage: its enemies, even when it is attacked, are scattered and weak, and it is usually easily able to array one half of them against the other half, and thus dispose of both.
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Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.
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Religion is so absurd that it comes close to imbecility.
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Some immemorial imbecilities have been added deliberately, on the ground that it is just as interesting to note how foolish men have been as to note how wise they have been.
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A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
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American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.
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Mankind has failed miserably in its effort to devise a rational system of government. [...] The art of government is the exclusive possession of quacks and frauds. It has been so since the earliest days, and it will probably remain so until the end of time.
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Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again.
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One seldom discovers a true believer that is worth knowing.
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No man ever quite believes in any other man.
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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.
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