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As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Praising
Complain
Represent
Complaining
Alcohol
Praise
Shall
Long
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
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Philadelphia is the most pecksniffian of American cities, and thus probably leads the world.
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Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.
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There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.
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Osteopath--One who argues that all human ills are caused by the pressure of hard bone upon soft tissue. The proof of his theory isto be found in the heads of those who believe it.
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The most common of all follies is to believe in the palpably untrue.
H. L. Mencken
Capital punishment has probably been responsible for a good deal of human progress. The overwhelming majority of those executed were of the sort whose departures for bliss eternal improved the average intelligence and decency of the race.
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A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
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If there had been any formidable body of cannibals in the country, Harry Truman would have promised to provide them with free missionaries fattened at the taxpayer's expense.
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The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
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If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
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I hate sports the way people who like sports hate common sense.
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Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.
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God must love the rich or he wouldn't divide so much among so few of them.
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A bad artist almost always tries to conceal his incompetence by whooping up a new formula.
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There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing.
H. L. Mencken
The best years are the forties after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
H. L. Mencken
The double standard of morality will survive in this world so long as the woman whose husband has been lured away is favoured with the sympathetic tears of other women, and a man whose wife has made off is laughed at by other men.
H. L. Mencken
