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Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Pretense
Improving
Annoying
Saving
Whenever
Injures
Scoundrel
Annoys
Scoundrels
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In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue.
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Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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Every autobiography ... becomes an absorbing work of fiction, with something of the charm of a cryptogram.
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When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
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If a sense of duty tortures a man, it also enables him to achieve prodigies.
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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
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All talk of winning the people by appealing to their intelligence, of conquering them by impeccable syllogism, is so much moonshine.
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What is the professor's function? To pass on to numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and largely untrue.
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If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y
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Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent.
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War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.
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Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?
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The pedant and the priest have always been the most expert of logicians - and the most diligent disseminators of nonsense and worse.
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The music critic, Huneber, could never quite make up his mind about a new symphony until he had seen the composer's mistress.
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New York is the place where all the aspirations of the western world meet to form one vast master aspiration, as powerful as the suction of a steam dredge. It is the icing on the pie called Christian civilization.
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The natural tendency of every government is to grow steadily worse-that is, to grow more satisfactory to those who constitute it and less satisfactory to those who support it.
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At eight or nine, I suppose intelligence is no more than a small spot of light on the floor of a large and murky room.
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If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
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