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The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Kiss
Kissing
Lasts
Last
Woman
Firsts
First
Begged
Men
Stolen
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Why do men go to zoos?
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I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
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Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
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I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
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The notion that a radical is one who hates his country is naïve and usually idiotic. He is, more likely, one who likes his country more than the rest of us, and is thus more disturbed than the rest of us when he sees it debauched. He is not a bad citizen turning to crime he is a good citizen driven to despair.
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How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
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I believe that any man who takes the liberty of another into his keeping is bound to become a tyrant, and that any man who yields up his liberty, in however slight the measure, is bound to become a slave.
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I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.
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Justice is what you get when you run out of money.
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The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craftsmen, but no artists. Can you imagine a Beethoven making $100, 000 a year?
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A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum.
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Whenever a reporter is assigned to cover a Methodist conference, he comes home an atheist.
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Next to the semi-colon, quotation marks seem to be the chief butts of reformatory ardor.
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A great literature is thus chiefly the product of doubting and inquiring minds in revolt against the immovable certainties of the nation.
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I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.
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In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added.
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The most common of all follies is to believe in the palpably untrue.
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Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
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Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
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As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain.
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