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The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Way
Husband
Marriage
Hold
Lose
Loses
Keep
Littles
Jealousy
Little
Jealous

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Of all the human qualities, the one I admire the most is competence. A tailor who is really able to cut and fit a coat seems to me an admirable man, and by the same token a university professor who knows little or nothing of the thing he presumes to teach seems to me to be a fraud and a rascal.
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Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.
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Nothing can come out of an artist that is not in the man.
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The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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Man weeps to think that he will die so soon woman, that she was born so long ago.
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It is only doubt that creates.
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Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
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The editors are committed to nothing save this: to keep common sense as fast as they can, to belabor sham as agreeably as possible, to give civilized entertainment.
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The truth, indeed, is something that mankind, for some mysterious reason, instinctively dislikes. Every man who tries to tell it is unpopular, and even when, by the sheer strength of his case, he prevails, he is put down as a scoundrel.
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Of government, at least in democratic states, it may be said briefly that it is an agency engaged wholesale, and as a matter of solemn duty, in the performance of acts which all self-respecting individuals refrain from as a matter of common decency.
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Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.
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I'm ombibulous. I drink every known alcoholic drink and enjoy them all.
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The most popular man under a democracy is not the most democratic man, but the most despotic man. The common folk delight in the exactions of such a man. They like him to boss them. Their natural gait is the goose step.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.
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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.
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History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.
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Mankind has failed miserably in its effort to devise a rational system of government. [...] The art of government is the exclusive possession of quacks and frauds. It has been so since the earliest days, and it will probably remain so until the end of time.
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