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It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Men
Dull
Certainty
Sure
Faith
Always
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
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When a woman says she won't, it's a good sign that she will. And when she says she will, it is an even better sign.
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It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
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The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable.
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They have taken the care and upbringing of children out of the hands of parents, where it belongs, and thrown it upon a gang of irresponsible and unintelligent quacks.
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Progress: The process whereby the human race has got rid of whiskers, the vermiform appendix and God.
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The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.
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If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
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The Jews fastened their religion upon the Western world, not because it was more reasonable than the religions of their contemporaries - as a matter of fact, it was vastly less reasonable than many of them - but because it was far more poetical.
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
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I well recall my horror when I heard for the first time, of a journalist who had laid in a pair of what were then called bicycle pants and taken to golf it was as if I had encountered a studhorse with his hair done up in frizzes, and pink bowknots peeking out of them. It seemed, in some vague way, ignominious, and even a bit indelicate.
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No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow to see him commit suicide for her.
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Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.
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Of learned men, the clergy show the lowest development of professional ethics. Any pastor is free to cadge customers from the divines of rival sects, and to denounce the divines themselves as theological quacks.
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Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
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I'm ombibulous. I drink every known alcoholic drink and enjoy them all.
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Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States--first,murder stories secondly, novels in which the heroine is forcibly overcome by the hero thirdly, volumes on spiritualism, occultism and other such claptrap, and fourthly, books on Lincoln.
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
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