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If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Good
Husband
Would
Deal
Deals
Stupid
Trust
Husbands
Literature
Happier
Also
Foolish
Women
Believed

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Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
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Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier.
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The sort of man who likes to spend his time watching a cage of monkeys chase one another, or a lion gnaw its tail, or a lizard catch flies, is precisely the sort of man whose mental weakness should be combated at the public expense, not fostered.
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The common notion that free speech prevails in the United States always makes me laugh.
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It is [a politician's] business to get and hold his job at all costs. If he can hold it by lying, he will hold it by lying if lying peters out, he will try to hold it by embracing new truths. His ear is ever close to the ground.
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Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man.
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A mood of constructive criticism being upon me, I propose forthwith that the method of choosing legislators now prevailing in the United States be abandoned and that the method used in choosing juries be substituted. That is to say, I propose that the men who make our laws be chosen by chance and against will of all the rest of us, as now.
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The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
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The argument that capital punishment degrades the state is moonshine, for if that were true then it would degrade the state to send men to war... The state, in truth, is degraded in its very nature: a few butcheries cannot do it any further damage.
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A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.
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There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.
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The war on privilege will never end. Its next grat campaign will be against the special privileges of the underprivileged.
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The worshiper is the father of the gods.
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One smart reader is worth a thousand boneheads.
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A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
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The book of Genesis, a farrago of nonsense so wholly absurd that even Sunday-school scholars have to be threatened with Hell to make them accept it.
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Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.
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Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
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