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If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
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Foolish
Women
Believed
Good
Husband
Would
Deal
Deals
Stupid
Trust
Husbands
Literature
Happier

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Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
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No man ever quite believes in any other man.
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
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The average man gets his living by such depressing devices that boredom becomes a sort of natural state to him.
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Liberty is of small value to the lower third of humanity. They greatly prefer security, which means protection by some class above them. They are always in favor of despots who promise to feed them. The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.
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Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.
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Experience is a poor guide to man, and is seldom followed. What really teaches a man is not experience, but observation.
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The theatre, when all is said and done, is not life in miniature, but life enormously magnified, life hideously exaggerated.
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The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
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Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world.
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
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It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
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The allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the allurement that Cape Hatteras holds out to sailors they are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating.
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Shave a gorilla and it would be almost impossible, at twenty paces, to distinguish him from a heavyweight champion of the world. Skin a chimpanzee, and it would take an autopsy to prove he was not a theologian.
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In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue.
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Man is always looking for someone to boast to woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
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The scientist who yields anything to theology, however slight, is yielding to ignorance and false pretenses, and as certainly as if he granted that a horse-hair put into a bottle of water will turn into a snake.
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There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
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To sum up: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions a minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.
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There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness.
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