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A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Drinking
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Alcoholism
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More quotes by H. L. Mencken
I believe that no discovery of fact, however trivial, can be wholly useless to the race, and that no trumpeting of falsehood, however virtuous in intent, can be anything but vicious.
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When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.
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When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend.
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What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States--first,murder stories secondly, novels in which the heroine is forcibly overcome by the hero thirdly, volumes on spiritualism, occultism and other such claptrap, and fourthly, books on Lincoln.
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Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.
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A bad artist almost always tries to conceal his incompetence by whooping up a new formula.
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I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk. It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail.
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A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
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When I mount the scaffold at last these will be my farewell words to the sheriff: Say what you will against me when I am gone, but don't forget to add, in common justice, that I was never converted to anything.
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There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.
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The smallest atom of truth represents some man's bitter toil and agony for every ponderable chunk of it there is a brave truth-seeker's grave upon some lonely ash-dump and a soul roasting in hell.
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The common notion that free speech prevails in the United States always makes me laugh.
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History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.
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Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. Mencken
A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.
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A mood of constructive criticism being upon me, I propose forthwith that the method of choosing legislators now prevailing in the United States be abandoned and that the method used in choosing juries be substituted. That is to say, I propose that the men who make our laws be chosen by chance and against will of all the rest of us, as now.
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A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology.
H. L. Mencken
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added.
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