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Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
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Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
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Popularity--The capacity for listening sympathetically when men boast of their wives and women complain of their husbands.
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The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
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Those tragic comedians, the Chamber of Commerce red hunters, the Women's Christian Temperance Union smellers, the censors of books, the Klan regulators, the Methodist prowlers, the Baptist guardians of sacred vessels-we have the national mentality of a police lieutenant.
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Culture itself is neither education nor law-making: it is an atmosphere and a heritage.
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In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
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Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
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No democratic delusion is more fatuous than that which holds that all men are capable of reason, and hence susceptible to conversion by evidence. If religions depended upon evidence for their prolongation, then all of them would collapse.
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The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.
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Unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency should be quietly hanged as a matter of public sanitation and decorum.
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There are no ugly cigars, only ugly smokers.
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The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
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Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices. The physician does not preach repentance he offers absolution.
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Conscience is the accumulated sediment of ancestral faint- heartedness
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