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It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
Linguist
Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Running
Imagination
Quite
Omnipotence
Impossible
Omnipotent
Imagine
Committees
Wisdom
Board
Literature
Boards
Universe
Gods
Easy
Wise

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Let no one mistake it for comedy, farcical though it may be in all its details. It serves notice on the country that Neanderthal man is organizing in these forlorn backwaters of the land, led by a fanatic, rid of sense and devoid of conscience.
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Nature abhors a moron.
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Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
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The true function of art is to criticize, embellish and edit nature… the artist is a sort of impassioned proof-reader, blue penciling the bad spelling of God.
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Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas
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The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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Never argue with a man whose job depends on not being convinced.
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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When a woman says she won't, it's a good sign that she will. And when she says she will, it is an even better sign.
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History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.
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When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
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There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.
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Osteopath--One who argues that all human ills are caused by the pressure of hard bone upon soft tissue. The proof of his theory isto be found in the heads of those who believe it.
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Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.
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Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered there is only error to be exposed.
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A wealthy man is one who earns $100 a year more than his wife's sister's husband.
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The storm center of lawlessness in every American State is the State Capitol. It is there that the worst crimes are committed it is there that lawbreaking attains to the estate and dignity of a learned profession it is there that contempt for the laws is engendered, fostered, and spread broadcast.
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A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn't like.
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When I mount the scaffold at last these will be my farewell words to the sheriff: Say what you will against me when I am gone, but don't forget to add, in common justice, that I was never converted to anything.
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