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The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
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Literary Critic
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Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Humor
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Jail
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
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Why do men go to zoos?
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A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
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It is the natural tendency of the ignorant to believe what is not true. In order to overcome that tendency it is not sufficient to exhibit the true it is also necessary to expose and denounce the false.
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The mistake that is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly.
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Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.
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One of the things that makes a Negro unpleasant to white folk is the fact that he suffers from their injustice. He is thus a standing rebuke to them.
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Liberty and democracy are eternal enemies, and every one knows it who has ever given any sober reflection to the matter.
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A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
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When a woman says she won't, it's a good sign that she will. And when she says she will, it is an even better sign.
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The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable.
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For it is an absurdity to call a country civilized in which a decent and industrious man, laboriously mastering a trade which is valuble and necessary to the common weal, has no assurance that it will sustain him while he stands ready to practice it, or keep him out of the poorhouse when illness or age makes him idle.
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Liberty is of small value to the lower third of humanity. They greatly prefer security, which means protection by some class above them. They are always in favor of despots who promise to feed them. The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.
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[Referring to FDR] If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would get him the votes he needs so sorely, he would begin fattening a missionary in the White House yard come Wednesday.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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The motive of fear is the be-all and end-all of religion.
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I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk. It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail.
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The only way that a government can provide for jobs for all citizens is by deciding what every man should do.
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The great difficulty about keeping the Ten Commandments is that no man can keep them and be a gentleman.
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The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.
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