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No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H. L. Mencken
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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
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Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
Writer
Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Happy
Scotch
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Genuinely
Worse
Married
Marriage
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Single
Whisky
More quotes by H. L. Mencken
How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
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When I think of anything properly describable as a beautiful idea, it is always in the form of music. I have written and printed probably 10,000,000 words in English but all the same I shall die an inarticulate man, for my best ideas beset me in a language I know only vaguely and speak only as a child.
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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.
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There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness.
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Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
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Religion, after all, is nothing but an hypothesis framed to account for what is evidentially unaccounted for.
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Nothing can come out of an artist that is not in the man.
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It is almost impossible for an Anglo-Saxon to write of sex without being dirty.
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A man of active and resilient mind outwears his friendships just as certainly as he outwears his love affairs, his politics and his epistemology.
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The American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects ... what they thus lost they have never got back.
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I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.
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A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum.
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It is a peculiarity of the American mind that it regards any excursion into the truth as an adventure into cynicism.
H. L. Mencken
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon woman, that she was born so long ago.
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Capitalism undoubtedly has certain boils and blotches upon it, but has it as many as government? Has it as many as marriage? Has it as many as religion? I doubt it. It is the only basic institution of modern man that shows any genuine health and vigor.
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Metaphysics is almost always an attempt to prove the incredible by an appeal to the unintelligible.
H. L. Mencken
The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
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The motive of fear is the be-all and end-all of religion.
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.
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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
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