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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

H. L. Mencken

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H. L. Mencken
Age: 75 †
Born: 1880
Born: September 12
Died: 1956
Died: January 29
Autobiographer
Essayist
Historian
Journalist
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Literary Critic
Satirist
Social Critic
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Baltimore
Maryland
Henry Louis Mencken
Mark
Judging
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Students
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Justice
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Literature
Papers
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Judge

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The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.
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The first kiss is stolen by the man the last is begged by the woman.
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The Old Testament, as everyone who has looked into it is aware, drips with blood there is, indeed, no more bloody chronicle in all the literature of the world.
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The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.
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Never drink if you've got any work to do. Never.
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[A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters:] Dear Sir (or Madame): You may be right.
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The essence of self-fulfillment and autonomous culture is an unshakable egotism.
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After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
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Liberty and democracy are eternal enemies, and every one knows it who has ever given any sober reflection to the matter.
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Taxation, for example, is eternally lively it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories
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I can't imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college, even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.
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American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.
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The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices. The physician does not preach repentance he offers absolution.
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A mood of constructive criticism being upon me, I propose forthwith that the method of choosing legislators now prevailing in the United States be abandoned and that the method used in choosing juries be substituted. That is to say, I propose that the men who make our laws be chosen by chance and against will of all the rest of us, as now.
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There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers.
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I'm thoroughly convinced that editors don't help authors.
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Some immemorial imbecilities have been added deliberately, on the ground that it is just as interesting to note how foolish men have been as to note how wise they have been.
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For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together.
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Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.
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