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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Garbage
Calls
Tell
Men

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx