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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx