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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
