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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
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Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx