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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx