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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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