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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx