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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Worthwhile
Speak
Certain
Something
Make
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
