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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
People
Watches
Watch
Room
Rooms
Television
Living
House
Would
Near

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx