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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Would
Near
People
Watches
Watch
Room
Rooms
Television
Living
House

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
Groucho Marx