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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Living
House
Would
Near
People
Watches
Watch
Room
Rooms
Television

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Blood's not thicker than money.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx