Quote

Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Right
Dinner
Second
Noted
Food
Discussed
Small
Lousy
Two
Resort
Women
Resorts
Firsts
Portions
First
Added

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx