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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Two
Important
Made
World
Sincerity
Fake
Honesty
Words

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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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