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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Behind
Named
Differences
Whoever
Poor
Leaves
Judge
Judging
Politician
Slime
Behinds
Snail
Difference
Anatomy
More quotes by Groucho Marx
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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He thinks I look alike!
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
