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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Lawyer
Shy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Groucho Marx
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx