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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Lucky
Growing
Something

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx