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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Something
Lucky
Growing

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx