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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Something
Lucky
Growing
More quotes by Groucho Marx
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx