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TV is the rat race of the century.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Rats
Century
Race

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx