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TV is the rat race of the century.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Rats
Century
Race
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx