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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Doubt
Happiness
Money
Cannot
Might
Crack
Cracks
Wise

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx