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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Doubt
Happiness
Money
Cannot
Might
Crack
Cracks
Wise
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
