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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Walk
Walks
Practice
Law
Ceiling
Ceilings
Flies
Agreement
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
