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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Agreement
Walk
Walks
Practice
Law
Ceiling
Ceilings
Flies

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx