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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Clubs
Members
Accepting
Kind
Like
People
Accepts
Join
Club

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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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