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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Always
Cigar
Smoking
Choice
Choose
Choices
Woman
Given
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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