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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Choice
Choose
Choices
Woman
Given
Always
Cigar
Smoking
More quotes by Groucho Marx
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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